An example post:
#3 Princeton:
Home of: The Eating-Club Douche
Affectations: They invented affectations!
A peek inside: Most Ivy Leaguers try (unconvincingly) not to mention which college they went to. Not at Princeton.
In ten years, will be: Our boss.
Favorite pickup lines: “Hey, didn’t I see you at the Cap & Gown Club?” “Hi. My father invaded Cuba.”
How to get in: “There is no formula for what makes the best Princeton student. In one year, we may be looking for that talented oboist* to fill out the woodwind section of the orchestra, while another year we may be focused on finding a well-rounded field-hockey player.”—cass cliatt, director of media relations
*Seriously, what is it about elite universities and the oboe?
Honorable-mention eating-club institutions: A basketball school in Durham, a university in New Haven, a college in Cambridge.
